why didn't you poke me back
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize