I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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