Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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