We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
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so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
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Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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