So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize