tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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