this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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