I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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