i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize