It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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