My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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