he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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