What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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