you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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