I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize