Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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