my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
be right there i have to get my cape
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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