i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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