I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Semen is not good for contacts.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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