she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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