this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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