I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize