I think scott just propositioned me for sex
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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