I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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