Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize