i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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