Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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