Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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