We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize