oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
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