Umm I'm too high to move.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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