Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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