From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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