NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just leave with hair like that
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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