Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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