Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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