Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
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Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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