did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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