Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize