Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
where am i from again
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize