It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize