Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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