SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize