She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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