dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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