Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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