People with herpes should wear stickers.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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