just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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