Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize