I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize